Coldplay – Viva La Vida or Death And His Friends

I haven’t always hated Clodplay. I actually quite liked some of their older stuff, especially “Yellow”. The hatred took hold when they went stellar with “X&Y” and Live8. I remember with derisive amusement the look of rage on Chris Martin’s face when someone (I think it was Jonathan Ross) reminded him that they had been denied the number one single spot by Crazy Frog. So I would have passed this by on the other side, if I hadn’t promised Ed on the 17 Seconds blog that I would listen to it if I got the chance. Ed had rated VLV way higher, in his best LPs of 2008, than The Fall’s offering, and I had expressed some doubt about this judgement, so in the interests of fairness I promised to listen to this.

Which I have now, and what a load of rubbish it is. The thing that grates most is the inflated pomposity of the lyrics. If it were not for the lyrics, the music would not seem as bad. But lyrics and music together are unspeakable, delivered with an unfounded confidence that says “We are singing songs about grown-up stuff like death AND we’ve got Eno on board with his soundscapes (whatever that means) so we are dead clever”. I suppose “Yes” is listenable, even perhaps “Strawberry Swing”. But any quality these possess deserve is outweighed by the sheer, jaw-dropping awfulness of “Cemetries Of London” (whose lyrics sound like the sort of idea Iron Maiden might have had and discarded as being too daft), the title track, and “42”, which surpasses even “Fix You”, the previous ne plus ultra of Clayplod badness (you know I am getting excited when I lapse into Latin).